Monday, August 30, 2010

The Compliment Wars

All my life I've been that strange person who gives compliments to people I don't even know if I like their shirt. And very consistently I've noticed an interesting trend- if you compliment someone on their shirt, they stare at you with a very peculiar look on their face, which I've taken to interpreting as "WHAT? Did someone just... compliment me? WTF?"

The reason I say this is I walk around the city a lot, every day, and before that I've been in other social settings where I simply do not ever see someone getting complimented. It's strange.  It's as if our polite veneer over society is slipping. This really bothers me. I ran into a teacher at my last job because at the time I was in the town I grew up in who said that she remembered me solely because I was the most polite kid she had ever met. I blushed, because it was surprising and almost uncomfortable, but I got over it.

That does raise a point though. How many times do you compliment people if you like their shirt/skirt/pants/suit/etc? How often do you get complimented by strangers? And I emphasize the strangers part, because friends are far more likely to tell you they like your clothing than a stranger. Why? Probably because of fear. People, pardon me if I seem wrong to you, seem to have a fear of the unknown, and we're getting far more paranoid of simple niceness. I really want to try to nip this in the bud, and at least try to solve the problem a little at a time. Perhaps it could all start with a simple compliment. Not everyone likes compliments, though I don't know why..It seems to me that it would be a good thing.

I personally compliment about 10 people a day, give or take. It all depends on who I see, and I have actually paused multiple conversations to just say "I like your shirt" or shortened it to "Nice shirt".  I like making people's days a little bit better. It's not that hard.  If you like the color, the style, the sheer boldness/attitude of it.. whatever, just compliment them. I really hope this takes off, I'd like to see a better mood. And it does often make their day a little brighter, even if it doesn't register at the time.


NOTE I don't mean for this to turn into a "I complimented you, you have to compliment me" thing, or anything actually resembling a war in that manner. Just making a record of that.

1 comment:

  1. I can field this one.

    Americans have a huge issue with personal space. So much so that even words or greetings that are unintended or from strangers constitute violation of it.

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