There's a lot of things that have bothered me most of my life. Because of it I've kept quiet until recently... One of the major things that has always bothered me is this nice tangled, explosive bundle of chaotic crap. When you are growing up*, people are essentially brainwashed and trained to believe certain things. Most of the time because of all the mixed signals, it fails horribly. I started realizing this when I was about 13 years old. Gender rules of behavior are a major catch 22. It's quite ridiculous, and downright medieval. For the record, this subject bothers me to a fundamental level, but I *WILL* be doing my best to curb my cursing, though on this subject it pains me.
I'll begin with women, which is where I started to realize how grossly unfair it all is. I remember distinctly in freshman year of high school hearing almost everyone in the locker room bitching about how unfair it is that women are called whores if they have sex with more than one person, but men are commended for it. (Note, they said girls and guys.. same general rules apply.) But even then I also noticed the other, darkly twisted side of the entire thing. I'm honestly not even sure I can post this without twisting it to untwist it to explain it because it's that jumbled.
Wow I honestly have no idea where to start.. Okay. Basically, women and men have been lumped into very peculiar, rigid, twisted and confused archetypes of the masculine and feminine. Women are, as my father said, supposed to be a lady on the street and a whore in bed. That's kinda true.. And kinda not. Females and males are expected to be such an extremely varied array of traits and are supposed to do so many actions to conform to it that all that happens is people get more upset and confused as time goes on. This is things I have observed in large quantities, and I'm not saying that everyone believes it, but growing up we are given so many mixed signals that they grow into contorted forests, festering within.
Women are expected to be sexually deviant to please men, and yet if they are they're considered whores. I've heard women called bitches, whores, by people being dead serious that all women are sluts, that they're weaker than men, that they belong in the kitchen... Essentially, think of every stereotype you've heard of women. None of them are true completely because people aren't like that. I don't claim to know why it all got so twisted, but looking around it all disturbs me. I'm also not saying that everyone believes it, or that it's true.. But as kids we were given fairly restrictive gender roles, which often contradicted each other and themselves. People aren't just positive or negative, masculine or feminine, because the traits themselves are not gender specific.
It's almost like a lot of people are acting like they THINK people want them to act, which continues the cycle. Unfortunately, I have no clue how to help. All of my life that I can remember I have felt detached, an observer in the game of life. I see what's wrong, but for some reason I'm just too detached to be able to find the piece to FIX the problems that I can see. It's like.. I can see what it SHOULD be, but I have no idea how to rearrange the pieces of the twisted puzzle.
People's actions and personalities can't be confined to female or male because female and male are archetypes created by the physical body parts of each. Sure, it makes sense in SOME WAYS.. but not all. Logically I can understand it to a small degree but it just grew twisted and contorted and... it really bugs me. I don't like feeling like anything I do is going to conform to someone's twisted archetype of how they think I do or should act. Nothing is that simple... The beauty of life is the systems in it. So why are the ones that matter the most twisted by people? I don't understand how it happened... I really don't. How did we come to this confusing point in society? How? How did this happen to us? How can we fix it?
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