Solitary Needs and Relationships

My husband just got back two hours ago. However, I immediately shelled up rather than doing the "normal" thing and holding the husband who's been gone for a month. I'm a very solitary creature. When I want to be left alone I WANT TO BE LEFT ALONE. That's made worse by the fact that I don't have a private space. I've always wanted one, and grew up MOSTLY with one.  My dad only came into my room to bitch at me, that was really it. It was MY space, even if it was only so due to a curtain draped across the whole room giving an illusion of privacy.

Now, I find myself struggling. I love my husband very much but we're two very different people. I'm actually wondering now if I have some form of Aspergers Syndrome or something like it, something that makes it very difficult for me to feel two sets of feelings at once, myselfs and the other person. It feels like a war between his feelings and mine, and like he's trying to push them onto me, because he feels that it's abnormal. I don't think he really is doing this, though I'm not sure, but it feels claustrophobic nonetheless. I'm a very solitary person, as I've said. He's very social, he thinks out loud, talks to himself, fidgets, moves, etc. I don't move very much, and I multitask. Excessively. It's kind of a problem because I'll say I am going to write, but the program won't respond right away, if at all, so I go play a facebook game while I think. I'm still thinking, I'm shutting off the "Front" part of my brain, and thinking of the back. But it appears to other people as if I am not doing anything, I'm doing something worthless and useless and pointless, but I'm not.

So perhaps I should have named this "Inability to communicate effectively".  I feel as though I'm constantly at war with him because he doesn't understand why I am the way I am, or why I don't seem to like him or love him. It's not that I don't love him. It's that I have some issues that I'm still working on, and I need to be mostly left alone a lot of the time because I am in my own head so much. I kind of need to be, I'm dealing with a lot in my life right now and also am still dealing with some issues of my own. My mind moves lightning quick, but I have one major flaw- I get interrupted very easily.

I love him... I really wish I could just cuddle and be affectionate all the time but I feel like there's this barrier all the time between me and him, because I feel like I CAN'T. I have stuff to do. I have a book I've been putting off for years that really matters to me and is eating away at me inside every moment I'm not speaking of it. I have various projects I am working on with friends and without that may turn into something amazing. I became a very powerfully independent person because I needed to be, and I don't know how to turn it back without destroying myself in the process. I'm going to look into therapy. But mostly, I'm going to write when I can.

I wonder how normal this is in relationships... :/ I feel so odd and alone..