Individuality

Individuality and uniqueness is something I've praised and cherished for a long time. Again for as long as I can remember.. (Approximately age 12. Before that everything's blurry..)

When I was younger, and mostly to date I've always had one key thing about my appearance that stayed the same for a period of time. While growing up I didn't have the funds to dress like I wanted, but I observed enough people's styles to pick and choose what I liked. Thanks to a conversation with my boyfriend yesterday, we pinned down approximately my style range. I tend to range, depending immensely on my mood and purpose, to like things of the following categories- Steampunk, punk(ish), extremely bright clashing hippie, and I think that may have been it. I love the variety of styles I see every day, it makes me happy to realize that there are so many people out there, with their own unique likes and dislikes.

We show more than we realize by what we wear. When we feel frumpy we tend to not really care what we look like and look laidback and careless. When we want to dress nice, we also tend to alter our posture. Everything we do resonates all throughout our self in ways that we don't necessarily even notice. Clothes are a form of psychological armor. When we feel comfortable, we feel safe and confident. When we feel uncomfortable, we usually can't hide it.

Individual uniqueness is something we all share. We're all the same in our craving to be seen as special, in our small yearning to be acknowledged by others in society. Because the universe is vast, and there are so many of us, a small, understandable fear reigns beneath our subconscious, a fear that we are meaningless, invisible, unnoticeable. I cherish all life for its potential, for the fact that it exists. I cherish individuality, even though it's in everyone. You know the phrase, I'm sure. You're a unique snowflake, just like everyone else.  It's true, but it doesn't have to be a negative way of looking at it.

As I've stated, I'm a universal thinker. I find all life, all of existence to be amazing, fascinating, wonderful and beautiful even though it's terrifying. The fact that I am so small and universally meaningless also makes me feel amazed to be alive, to feel, to see, to breathe, to walk, to laugh, to live and to love.

Everything we perceive, everything we see, all communication we have, everything we do or think about doing or possibly could do is due to a wrinkly, lumpy 3 lb of flesh in your skull. Neurons you can't even see are firing and sending electrical pulses telling your body if it's hot or cold, making you aware of your surroundings. Though you are not looking at the ground, your body is able to keep walking forward in a roughly straight line at an incline, walking up and down hills and maintaining the balance of your very strangely balanced body. You are breathing, digesting food, your heart is pounding and your bones are moving due to muscle being told to move by the brain..

And this is all happening so fast and so casually you don't even notice. Feelings you have of sorrow and happiness, missing someone and being glad to see them again, all of that occurs in your brain.  Everything you see is what your brain interprets so quickly you don't realize it's happening, it just is.

Life is an amazing, beautiful experience.. Don't regret it, even for a moment. Though this world is not always the most pleasant to put up with, the people are not always the nicest or most caring, think of all the amazing systems going on around you, and simply be amazed. Amazed that the trees are growing and emitting oxygen, eating carbon dioxide and continuing to live even through winter.

Be amazed that we have such a vast array of things we can want just because someone wondered what would happen if you mixed various things together.  Be happy.

The Intro to Kat

Posting the first in a series of blogs is much like posting an about me on a social networking site. It's like trying to squash yourself into a box that others will understand.  I don't particularly like that idea, though it has its uses assuredly. People love placing others in neat little boxes because it's simpler than getting to understand every facet of them.. Me, I'm more of a global mind. I like to think, and think, and contemplate, and observe. Currently I'm debating how much of myself I should reveal right now.

First thing I will tell you, I will be doing my best to post a blog daily. I may miss a day, simply because I'm homeless and trying to rectify the situation.

I'm not the most social of creatures. Hardly surprising, considering I am posting blogs rather than doing video blogs or being a comedienne.(Ah hah! It's a female!)


A little glimmer of what's in my mind- I'm sitting here in the library beneath all the layers of criss-crossing stares and in a single glance I see at least 4 people walking up or down a different part of the intricate staircase.


In those four people are four totally different lives with multiple layers of thoughts, beliefs, friends, political views, emotional entanglements, troubles and happinesses.


All humans on the planet share 99.999999%(etc) IDENTICAL genetic stuffs. That means that although they all look very different, have different mental and emotional and physical issues, though they are of different ages and have different jobs etc, and think in totally different patterns, they're all practically the same thing. They may despise each other beyond belief, or love each other as deeply as people possibly can.


All sorts of things fascinate me. I'm often caught between deep feelings of disgust toward people, and amazement. The intricate nature of mankind amazes me, yet what people do, say, how they act often disgusts me. I feel alone in a crowd, and claustrophobic all at once. I love people for their potential, and loathe them for their flaws- And note, by that I don't mean their mistakes. Mistakes are mistakes. When you choose to be an asshole to someone for no reason, with no psychological reason in your past to back it up.. It's not right. Arrogance annoys me, though I can be arrogant. I also accept that in the grand scheme of this planet and the universe I am nothing, though.


To me, love is something you can't really explain as simply platonic or familial or romantic. Love is much more than all of that. It's all of it combined. Love is knowing someone for all their strengths and faults, their problems and the reasons why and liking them anyway. It's liking them FOR their faults, for their issues, for their very being itself. It's a hard thing to do, and exhausting when you're hurt by them.  But I think it's worth it.






And yes, I am random. But I think this sums me up more than I expected ^_~ 'Til next time..


-Kat-