Being a "Bitch"

You know... (Mind you, I am writing this with a big happy smile on my face) I actually really like it when I get called a bitch.  No, really.. I do. It's a high compliment for me. I am trying to keep my own personal life off this blog, as I have a facebook for that, but..  this is something that really strikes a chord in me. A very loud, resounding chord that shakes the very air around me, in a good way. I can almost feel it vibrating on my skin. When I get called a bitch, I feel almost a wave of psychological power wash over me, in a manner of speaking.

Calling someone a bitch is not as degrading as it once was. In some contexts it is, such as with pimps etc (And I mean the literal kind, not the idiotic ghetto people who use the term to show how "cool" and "hardcore" they are..)  In fact, in most cases although it is meant as an insult, if you really think of the actions/attitudes said woman took to achieve the social status of being known as a bitch, you'll notice it really just means she doesn't take any guff from anyone. 

Guff. I like that word. :)

People can suck. I think everyone reading this blog has met that jackass that they really want to trip down a flight of stairs just to see them fall.  Let's be honest with each other here, this is the internet, we are allowed. For that matter, I will talk directly to you, whoever you are who happens to be reading this.  Humans have a tendency to immediately judge someone within moments. Sure, not everyone does this as intensely as others, but it is human nature to observe and pass judgement. It isn't even a bad thing. Not really.

I'm sure there's someone at your work who is so utterly dramatic you just can't stand them. I'm sure there's someone who shoves their nose in everyone else's business and will not let anyone around them live in peace without informing them, with all the glitz and glamour they can stuff into the words, all about someone else's life, or a situation they heard of. These people exist. I'm not sure why, personally, but they do. I don't quite understand the reasoning behind it, or why people actually like to involve themselves in other people's lives to such an extent after having passed the tender age of 13, but to each their own.

Now...  When it comes right down to it, being a bitch is not putting up with people's crap. Generally, you're a bitch when you stand up for yourself, for what you believe in, and cut off the drama and lies. You're more aggressive than passive in your want to be left alone, and you tend to be very blunt with what you think about different things. You don't let society cow you. That is not something that you should ever be ashamed of. The word "Bitch"as an insult tends to be from other females who are affronted by said Bitch, or from men who have been similarly insulted/put in their place.  People have quite a few tendencies. Another is getting arrogant. I will also fully admit I can be an arrogant asshole. Everyone can.  However, when people have been showing signs of arrogance for a long time and have not been properly set in their place, when they finally are they do not take it very well.

I guess what I'm really saying here is, I'm not ashamed of not being passive about some things. I'll be quiet about stuff. I'll keep my mouth shut and keep to myself until you try to involve me in your drama and your, well, crap, but I am not ashamed that I will get outspoken and stand up for myself, my opinions, and try to show honesty.. Even if it means pointing out when someone is lying or exaggerating.

Where did this entire thought come from?  I re-met someone I haven't seen in over 6 months who I never really talked to before, and she said that I'm apparently "less of a bitch"now.  I think in all honesty all it really took was getting to know me. Try to get to know that bitch who seems like this. Some bitches are just more vicious versions of the drama queen, but the quiet ones often aren't. I can't tell you how many bitches I'm proud to be friends with.

Gender Roles, Rules, and Gender Identity

There's a lot of things that have bothered me most of my life. Because of it I've kept quiet until recently... One of the major things that has always bothered me is this nice tangled, explosive bundle of chaotic crap. When you are growing up*, people are essentially brainwashed and trained to believe certain things. Most of the time because of all the mixed signals, it fails horribly. I started realizing this when I was about 13 years old.  Gender rules of behavior are a major catch 22. It's quite ridiculous, and downright medieval.  For the record, this subject bothers me to a fundamental level, but I *WILL* be doing my best to curb my cursing, though on this subject it pains me.

I'll begin with women, which is where I started to realize how grossly unfair it all is. I remember distinctly in freshman year of high school hearing almost everyone in the locker room bitching about how unfair it is that women are called whores if they have sex with more than one person, but men are commended for it. (Note, they said girls and guys.. same general rules apply.)  But even then I also noticed the other, darkly twisted side of the entire thing. I'm honestly not even sure I can post this without twisting it to untwist it to explain it because it's that jumbled.

Wow I honestly have no idea where to start.. Okay. Basically, women and men have been lumped into very peculiar, rigid, twisted and confused archetypes of the masculine and feminine. Women are, as my father said, supposed to be a lady on the street and a whore in bed. That's kinda true.. And kinda not.  Females and males are expected to be such an extremely varied array of traits and are supposed to do so many actions to conform to it that all that happens is people get more upset and confused as time goes on. This is things I have observed in large quantities, and I'm not saying that everyone believes it, but growing up we are given so many mixed signals that they grow into contorted forests, festering within.

Women are expected to be sexually deviant to please men, and yet if they are they're considered whores. I've heard women called bitches, whores, by people being dead serious that all women are sluts, that they're weaker than men, that they belong in the kitchen... Essentially, think of every stereotype you've heard of women. None of them are true completely because people aren't like that. I don't claim to know why it all got so twisted, but looking around it all disturbs me. I'm also not saying that everyone believes it, or that it's true.. But as kids we were given fairly restrictive gender roles, which often contradicted each other and themselves. People aren't just positive or negative, masculine or feminine, because the traits themselves are not gender specific.

It's almost like a lot of people are acting like they THINK people want them to act, which continues the cycle. Unfortunately, I have no clue how to help. All of my life that I can remember I have felt detached, an observer in the game of life. I see what's wrong, but for some reason I'm just too detached to be able to find the piece to FIX the problems that I can see. It's like.. I can see what it SHOULD be, but I have no idea how to rearrange the pieces of the twisted puzzle.

People's actions and personalities can't be confined to female or male because female and male are archetypes created by the physical body parts of each. Sure, it makes sense in SOME WAYS.. but not all. Logically I can understand it to a small degree but it just grew twisted and contorted and... it really bugs me. I don't like feeling like anything I do is going to conform to someone's twisted archetype of how they think I do or should act. Nothing is that simple... The beauty of life is the systems in it. So why are the ones that matter the most twisted by people? I don't understand how it happened... I really don't. How did we come to this confusing point in society? How? How did this happen to us? How can we fix it?