Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Too much on my brain..

This will be a bit more free-write than my usual stuff.

I feel on some levels like I'm being electrified.  On edge, jumpy, bouncy, zappy.  Easily frustrated.  Overwhelmed, in some ways, good and bad.  I feel the washing of good and bad over me, and while I am comfortable, I am also in other ways close to the edge. Edge of what? I don't know.  A freak-out, a writing frenzy, a break. Me time.  Movement forward, always forward.

That's what life is about, really.  We act like we're hot shit because we're HUMANS, right..  We are the kings of the planet.  We took it over, made it our own, and animals live because we let them or some crap, right?

Well..  Take a step back, suspend your beliefs for a moment and try to follow my train of thought here.

Everything you are, all your blood, organs, veins, muscle, fat, skin, bone, tissue, is made up of particles so small you can't quickly conceive of it.  There is more space in you that is empty than all of you.  All those electrons, protons, neutrons, quarks...  All vibrating, moving, bouncing, never still.  What would happen if they were all still? If they just worked together like we perceive machines to?  What would that do to us?

All those tiny, miniature particles, the building blocks of EXISTENCE, and we are it.  We are the only intelligent life we know of.  In this paragraph I mean in the known universe, we are the ONLY planet we have found with provable life on it, let alone as advanced as we are.

What are we? What is existence?  So many particles you can't conceive of them, so many atoms you can't fully contemplate the vastness of them, all for the most part working in tandem.  I mean,  theoretically, we could cease to exist, right?  I read an article recently that stated that approximately 98% of your atoms are gone within 2 years, replaced by others.  98% of YOU disappears and is replaced by something else.  (If this is true..  If it's not, it's still a cool idea to think about.)

Existence as we know it is all those particles working together.  The current theory is that all of everything was once condense to one finite place, right?  One spot. BAM.  And then it erupted outward, and eventually began forming stuff.  And the atoms agree for the most part to stick with the program and go with the flow.  How does that work? I have no fucking clue but it's cool as hell to think about, isn't it??

I for one don't know how that program works.  but I'm glad it does.  All your brain waves, all your thoughts, all your actions, the way your muscles move, the fact that your organs work the way they do,  all the things you probably don't think of most of the time, couldn't work without those building blocks all working in tandem.  So as odd as it may sound, I am going to take a moment to thank the atoms that make me up. I am going to thank the matter that I perceive as myself for working together for me, and for the rest of life on this planet.

Thank you.

Everything we experience on this planet, it's due to what, 14.6 billion years, I think?  Was it lightyears or years? Does it matter?  It's way bigger than us, that's for sure.  All of that, to create all the planets and galaxies and suns and black holes and wormholes and asteroids and WHATEVER that we can't even see, and we. are. it.

For all we know, we are the *only* intelligent life out there.  And right now we're still fighting over the magic man in the sky, or lines in the dirt.  We are it.  What if all those atoms working together to build something capable of what we conceive of as thought, to be able to communicate together, what if we are meant to do something, as a species? I don't know what. Live. Exist.  Share, connect, grow, just as the atoms that make us up do, as the systems in our own planet do.

That is what makes me so immeasurably sad.  The concept that people who hate each other and want to kill each other over things like loving someone with the same genitals, or driving in front of them on the road, or liking a different team of people in bright colored jerseys tackling each other over a ball.

We live on this gorgeous, beautiful planet, in this amazing universe, and we are so obsessed with iPads and the X-Box.  Don't get me wrong, I love gaming as much as the next person, but there is so much more to life than the things like that.  I wonder in some ways if we are on the brink of a great moment in history, human history and otherwise, and we have a choice to make.  Do we work together, or destroy ourselves, and look like a bunch of bratty kids for eternity, if there are other races that find out about us later?

Live the best for you, for the ones you love.  Be happy with your life, if you can, or at least try to be, because the fact that you are alive and can read and understand this is amazing.

I love you, fellow human-bodied fleshbag.  <3